Voidspark

Voidspark

A Voidspark Oracle
Chronicle of the Fallen
Obituary
Published photo

Greg, Dead

a massive allergic reaction to peanuts consumed at 11:47 p.m. while scrolling through his phone in bed

April 16, 2026. Greg maintained a strict midnight snacking regimen that his doctor had warned against for years. He died as he lived: one hand holding a jar of roasted peanuts, the other gripping his phone, which was still open to a grocery delivery app. His EpiPen sat on the nightstand, three feet away, in a drawer he had not opened since purchasing it.

Survived by

his mother, his phone (still warm), a half-eaten jar of extra-salty peanuts, and approximately 4,000 screenshots of yogurt containers he had photographed in store aisles over the past decade

He would never put the phone down, not even when his throat was closing up—I watched him try to text 911 instead of just calling.
his ex-girlfriend
Services Services will be held Saturday at a community center. In lieu of flowers, please purchase yogurt containers and leave them unattended in grocery bags for as long as possible.
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